what i have

Sometimes I sit outside and think of all the things I don’t have.

I don’t have room for chickens, or a lawn to lie on in the sunshine. I don’t have a private space to sit in my dressing gown without the neighbours seeing. I don’t have a door I can leave open to wander in and out all day. I don’t have a perfect kitchen garden with perfect rows of perfect vegetables.

And then I think about the things that I do have, but that I don’t want.

A half built compost bin. An out of control willow hedge. Bare soil, and a breeze block wall so many colours of drab.

A bag of slowly-rotting weeds. Dead stalks where the marigolds grew before the slug came. A dark shady corner where nothing will grow.

And then the sun shines and casts a dappled shade as I write, and a bee lands on my paper, and I think about things that I do have.

I have space to grow.

I can talk to my neighbours as they pass. I have rhubarb, and mint, and blueberries, and fennel, and more lemon balm than I will ever know what to do with. I have a fuchsia bigger than an armchair. I have no need for a lawnmower. I have a place to sit and look at the sky.

I am content.

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8 Responses to what i have

  1. cherisong says:

    I love this post. We all spend too much time thinking about what we don’t have or not liking what we do have. It is refreshing to realise what we do have and celebrate it. The honeysuckle calls to me. I love honeysuckle. The sitting area is so beautiful and peaceful.

  2. Deb Cameron says:

    Glad to see I am not the only one to have a dead pot section in the garden. Sitting area looks inviting.

  3. Cassandra says:

    Definitely something to keep in mind – we have more than we think we do sometimes!! An important part of gardening, and living, is working with what you do have 🙂

  4. Thank you all 🙂 Deb, you are definitely NOT the only one to have a dead pot area! Absolutely not. And yes Cassandra, you’re right, we do have more than we think we do (that’s exactly what I was trying to convince myself of when I wrote this post!) The honeysuckle is gorgeous Cheri, it grows out of a drain hole, and up the side of the house over the kitchen window. It never flowers much though, so when it does it’s really special.

  5. Pingback: Knowing when to be grateful « On Unfurled Wings

  6. Robyn says:

    Lovely – what a nice read for a lunchtime!

  7. Mum says:

    I can’t believe you made me cry!!

  8. Pingback: What I have – pause for thought « Cwtch Corner

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