remembering

This week I found out an old boyfriend of mine died last year. I hadn’t seen him for a while, and we had no shared friends, so I found out through facebook, of all things. It’s an odd thing to have known someone well, and then spent a whole year thinking they were alive when they weren’t. 

My memories of that time are sketchy. 

I remember meeting you on a sunny day. You made me dinner and carved a tomato into a heart shape.

A spider ran across the bed. I remember you telling me you’d put it out of the window. I knew you were lying.

I remember playing trivial pursuit in our flat with the horrid pink leather sofa. The games were long – both of us were rubbish at general knowledge. I remember spending time in the video shop, but I don’t remember anything we watched. We ate out a lot, but I only remember one restaurant. I don’t know what we talked about when we were at home.

I have a picture of you feeding some geese, but I don’t remember taking it, or where we were.

We kept in touch for a while, then drifted apart. I know now that you were engaged to someone else.

I told you I’d finally finished my PhD. I thought it would make you laugh, since you were there at the start and thought it would go on forever. You never replied. I hope you laughed anyway.

You told me the song you wanted at your funeral. I never told anyone else – did you?

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4 Responses to remembering

  1. Helena Romanowska says:

    Very poignant! It’s strange how people drift in and out of your life. People who you were very close to become memories and they are still part of your life mosaic. Thanks for sharing. XxX

  2. Heather says:

    Gosh thats sad news, I’m very sorry to hear that. Hugs 🙂

  3. Mum says:

    You’ve made me cry again! Hope you’re ok xx

  4. Thank you all 🙂 Goodness me though, not you as well mum! I seem to be doing nothing but making people cry this week! I do apologise. I’m fine – it was just rather unexpected is all, especially as I didn’t find out for so long.

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